Wowww. Your words carry so much emotion and honesty. Sometimes we keep ourselves busy just to avoid facing the thoughts that become louder when everything gets quiet. I especially connected with the idea of smiling and talking normally while carrying a completely different feeling inside. Life can be a constant process of breaking and rebuilding ourselves, and perhaps having faith is what gives us the strength to keep going. Thank you for sharing such a deeply personal reflection. May you find peace in the things you cannot express in words.