RE: Survived a Traditional Chinese Wedding! (And way too much Baijiu) 😅
Weddings and funerals are neither my cup of tea, and the same actually goes for birthday parties. I don’t particularly enjoy being surrounded by drunk people, nor by a lot of noise… So that means that whenever I can get away with it, I make a brilliant exit by simply not turning up. I’m perfectly happy with that, mind you, but now that I think about it: I reckon there are very few people left amongst my family and friends these days who are getting married or passing away. There was a period when literally two generations died at the same time. That really clears things up.
The last wedding was that of a friend. After 30 years together, they decided to get married because her father was on his deathbed. They even went into the church. Not only I, but also the priest was surprised and made a comment about it (another one of those things: being made a fool of at your own wedding by your witnesses, family and friends).
Incidentally, my friend had had enough of it after just a month of marriage. The reason for getting married wasn’t love, but financial: she’s never worked, and he’s too daft to sort out his own affairs. He also suffers (and, because of him, the whole family does too) from mental health issues and has aggressive outbursts.
I hope this marriage isn’t just a marriage of convenience, although no longer being in love and realising who your partner really is is worse. Better a marriage of convenience, then.
Aren’t you brave enough to refuse alcohol? A hangover – a really dreadful headache – sounds awful to me.
Welcome back.
Haha, man, your comment is like a whole short story! A 30-year relationship ended up as a marriage just for money and angry issues... that sounds like a plot for my next suspense novel! 🤣
You are totally right about the noisy part. I try to escape those parties too, but in China, if it's your good friend's son, you just CANNOT run away. It's about "Mianzi" (face/respect). If you don't go, they will talk about you for the rest of your life!
And about the alcohol... oh boy, you don't understand the Chinese wedding culture. The uncles will come to your table, hold your hand, and say, "If you don't drink this glass, you don't look down on me!" How can I refuse that? 😭 My head still feels like someone is hitting it with a hammer.
No more weddings for me this year, please. Just let me stay in my dark room and write my stories. Btw, get ready, my new hardcore thriller series drops tomorrow. I think you gonna like the dark reality in it! Cheers bro! 🍻
Do not write this. It doesn't sound good, at least not to me, not to womem. Perhaps, men and Americans like it.
Sure. You can always refuse to drink – just say you’re ill and suffering from a migraine, or that it’ll give you a brain haemorrhage. If it works for me, it’ll probably work for you too – quite apart from the fact that respect has absolutely nothing to do with drinking alcohol; you’re already turning up on those days, so that says something in itself.
I don’t even go anymore, but when I do, I certainly stand out enough because everyone’s seen me in a short space of time, and afterwards I can slip away unnoticed. It’s all about the impression you leave behind, not how long you were there.
Anyway, if there’s another wedding tomorrow or next week, you can truthfully say you’re still suffering from the hangover from the last one. Incidentally, being unable to hold one’s drink is also something that’s more common amongst Asians than amongst Westerners, although I do believe it’s quite possible to develop a degree of tolerance to it here as well.
When it comes down to it, most people get married because it offers an advantage: a tax benefit, for example, or because it makes it easier to buy a house or get a loan. Men live longer when they’re married, whereas women live much shorter lives – an interesting fact in itself. It’s also better to start your own business with a partner, especially if you’re worried you might not make it. You can keep the business and the home as separate assets. If you go bankrupt, you’ll at least still have a roof over your head – provided your partner doesn’t walk out on you.
Personally, I think that if you don’t know your partner after 30 years – and my girlfriend certainly did know him, because that aggression had always been there, including smashing windows with his fist out of frustration – then you’re practically asking to be unhappy when you marry someone like that. Getting divorced here is far more difficult than getting married, and you’re in for a lifetime of misery if you do; it’s almost impossible to ever start over, especially as a woman. Interestingly, she subsequently developed a heart condition and is now suffering from it; and no, this isn’t due to the COVID-19 jab, as she never had one. And so we are our own worst enemies. Those who are unhappy cannot make others happy either. I find it sad, but there’s nothing to be done about it. Even visiting is very uncomfortable given the atmosphere that hangs in the air.
Enjoy the freedom and your own room, sitting at your own desk with your own computer, without all that nagging.
Yesterday, three school pupils popped round to see me and asked if they could interview me; they had two questions and it only took 10 seconds. By the time they’d said that, those 10 seconds were, of course, already up. One question was: ‘Do you feel rich?’.
My answer is: yes. Having no debts and being free is wealth. We had a nice chat and who knows, maybe the children will get something out of it too. According to him, the chat with me had been the best bit after all – everyone went home happy.
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Oh my god, I am so sorry sister! 😅 My bad! My English slang is not very good, in Chinese internet we sometimes just use "bro" for everyone to show friendly. I will be very careful next time! Thank you for telling me!
You are so right about the drink. Next time I will just say my head is exploding and run away early lol.
That story about the 30-year bad relationship is really sad. Why people torture themselves like that? Just like you said, sit in my own dark room, look at my computer, and writing my suspense story is the best feeling. No nagging, just me and my keyboard.
And I really LOVE your answer to the school kids! "Having no debts and being free is wealth." This is such a boss-level wisdom! I will write this sentence in my notebook.
Thank you for sharing so much real life thoughts with me. It feel like chatting with a wise elder sister. Have a wonderful day! 🌸