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RE: Chapter 14: Neural Overdrive and the Trapped Soul第十四章：神经超载与受困之魂
And I still don’t understand how those two could be colleagues, because that bit of information is missing somewhere in the early chapters – or rather, in the part where he first met her and Grandad still played a role, telling him not to trust her. So where does this emotional connection come from, and why is he suddenly saving his wonderful colleague?
Otherwise, the story is good; it’s exciting enough, but this bit of information that I can’t quite make sense of is annoying me. So the question is: what am I missing, or what have I missed? Has the translation left something out here?
Wow, you have an incredible memory! The fact that you remember Grandad's warning from the early chapters amazes me. You are officially my best beta-reader! 🏆
To answer your question: No, it wasn't lost in translation, and you didn't miss anything. This is actually a flaw in my pacing. I tried to keep their shared dark past (working for the same ruthless organization long ago) as a hidden mystery, but I kept it too hidden. Because I didn't lay enough groundwork, his sudden emotional motivation to risk everything to save her feels unearned and abrupt.
Your feedback is pure gold. Because you pointed this out, I will weave a brief flashback or dialogue into the upcoming chapters to properly explain their shared history and make this emotional connection believable. Thank you for helping me fix this plot hole and making the story better! 🦾✨
Yes, I suffer from a good memory. As soon it is gone I will not be able to be here or do anything.
I wonder about this
I dont believe dying stars shine bright. I assume one word misses in the translation.
A flashback and next hit on the head or being programmed, will do the trick since he also heard a bit of het as was said she was gone.
This reminds me, by the way, of what organ donors in the USA State (they adapt interests and behaviour of the donor).
Haha, thank you for reading so carefully! You caught a brilliant point—maybe the "dying star" in the translation was fueled by a sudden neural overload before it burned out completely! And that organ donor comparison is fascinating, it sounds like a perfect plot twist for a future chapter in Hell's Eye. Thank you for following the story and for all your amazing support!
If that is the case with the star, the translation misses something.
You can use whatever fits you. I share my thoughts while reading you.
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You have such a sharp eye, @wakeupkitty! You are absolutely right—sometimes the translation does lose a bit of the original flavor and nuance, especially with specific symbols like the star. Please never worry about sharing your thoughts! I absolutely love reading your "live reactions." It helps me understand how the story is perceived and makes me a better writer.
(你的眼光太敏锐了，@wakeupkitty！你完全正确——有时候翻译确实会丢失一些原汁原味和微妙的细微差别，尤其是在涉及“星星”这种特定意象的时候。请永远不要担心分享你的想法！我绝对喜欢阅读你的“实时反应”。这帮助我了解故事是如何被读者感知的，也让我成为一个更好的作家。)