Misunderstandings
Often it feels like the Tower of Babel, the way people talk past one another. How can you make yourself understood when different languages are being spoken, where one person calls a spade a spade, while the other tries to keep everyone happy and doesn’t dare say what the real problem is?
On top of that, culture, the way language is used, the associations the listener has with certain words and their personal history all come into play. Often that matters more than you’d think, never mind people with big egos who won’t admit they’ve misunderstood something.
When that’s the case, it’s of course very easy to storm off in a strop again, or suddenly start talking about something else and drag in all sorts of irrelevant topics. Walking away again solves nothing in the end, and neither does indiscriminately downvoting the people who always had your best interests at heart, or newcomers.
Anyone who never has the guts to speak up, yet claims they’re always direct themselves, thinks honesty is the highest good and would appreciate it if everyone were honest, gives themselves away pretty clearly this way.
I wonder what it would be like if everyone, for a change, were honest. By that I don’t mean you can’t stay anonymous or that you have to share your whole life and everything you own, but that you’re honest in how you talk and behave towards others, and that when you keep bringing up the same subject yourself, you can also pluck up the courage to answer a question and provide the proof. Anyone who writes, who goes on social media, also has to bear in mind that they’re being read, and that they may get responses and questions.
10.9.26
Prompt: see title
Just like the story, Emperor without clothes, many most times do not want to hear honest feedback. And many times too, it works both ways. The one at the receiving end and the one giving the opinion.
Personally, being honest constructively takes effort from both sides. I always look for ways to say it honestly in a way that the receiving end might choose to listen. So the brain starts to go through the choices of words, the facial expressions, the physical gestures. I look for a suitable time and opportunity.
But if feedback is given in a hostile, rude manner, the level of acknowledgement and acceptance tend to be much lower. It depends on individual and situation I suppose. Some has higher tolerance and can take straight talking. Some are more sensitive and tend to be emotional. Some don't care and some care too much.
And when I am at the receiving end, I have to tell myself to be open minded, to listen first (or read), digest first, breathe in deep, avoid being defensive and try to understand what the feedback means. First, to acknowledge, and then to accept, after that, to do something about it.
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I could actually write a #freewrite here based on the prompt: What you need to know about me...
I reckon that when it comes to comments, they’re always taken negatively, unless you’re sucking up to someone – in other words, always agreeing with them – and that’s not how it works. The same goes for giving votes: a vote automatically means you approve of it, so there’s no need to change anything. And that’s where the biggest problem lies. Then, of course, you also have to deal with people who have such an incredibly big ego – just look at the usernames some of them use – that the penny will never drop, no matter how politely or carefully you put it, and under any circumstances; you might think you’re being quite blunt, but to them it means absolutely nothing. Getting the message across is quite difficult in itself, especially when it has to be done online, but on the other hand, I don’t believe the average person using the platform is that blind. If there’s something to be gained – whether it’s a scam or whatever – people are quick to jump on it.
Great comment!
This BOOMING vote is yours and well deserved!
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